Review of A Cloud of Suspicion

A Cloud of Suspicion is a very good story. The setting is a favorite since I also live in Louisiana where this story takes place. The description of the setting comes across as common to most Louisiana small towns. The characters are well-rounded and believable. I especially like Shelby the librarian. Her faith in God is strong despite her life being so filled with danger nowadays. And Patrick is indeed a knight in shining armor, or rather, a biker on a custom built motorcycle. But as heros go, it doesn’t matter if Patrick comes riding a white horse or riding a motorcycle he built himself, he proves to be a strong man Shelby can lean on in her hours of need.

I find little about this story to complain about, but since I am from Louisiana and the Cajun country, I thought I’d mention one little thing that wore on my nerves a little more each time I read it. Down here, everyone in the country knows we shortened up you all to ya’ll. Or perhaps you are one who likes to spell it y’all. Or maybe you use another spelling. The point I am trying to make here is that the contraction, any way you happen to spell it, used for you all means all of you. In A Cloud of Suspicion the author uses it to point to one person. This is not real. You all, ya’ll, y’all, or all of you never refers to one person. So to hear a character ask Shelby, “How are ya’ll doing today?” is really bad English grammar. We are not so backward as to use this slang contraction in this way unless we are asking more than one person who are in a group. We still ask, “Shelby, how are you today?” I have to compliment the author in refraining from trying to use any of our other slang words and hope that she reads this so she won’t make the mistake again.

A note to authors: If you really want to use words or sounds perculiar to a certain group of people or town or city or country, always opt for the simplest ones that you know you can handle and don’t use more than a couple of words which can be used over and over again, say, by one character. AND always make sure you spell the word correctly and use it correctly in the sentences.

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About lprobinson64

I have been writing short stories for 25 years and am now working on my first novel. Besides writing, I love to read a great variety of genres with crime/mystery/fantasy being at the top. Dean Koontz is my favorite author, but there are so many more I can't list them all. I also like to crochet, sew, and do many kinds of crafts. Being a retired school teacher sure helps me find the time for all my favorite activities. Can't understand why people don't like retirement. It is a good time to follow a new dream.
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